For the past few months, my life has been quite boring and things going more slower than i thought it would be. To be frank, time didn’t go slower. I just felt like i haven’t been doing anything productive at all because basically my daily life consists of me waking up, greets my parents and sister who’s on their way to work,take my breakfast,kdrama,on the phone, and then staring at the blank page that says ‘add post’. I have to be honest that nothing exciting has been going on in my life except my driving lessons with my sister. It was really fun and thrilling at the same time. At the beginning of March i promised myself to become more productive and take my breakfast on time and not ‘brunch’. I tend to skip my lunch because of my ‘diet’ which stops after February comes in.
You could also say that March is my favorite month. If you have read my ‘about me’ page then you’ll know that my birthday is on March 15th. Yes, to those who take spm last year like me you would probably thought of ‘that’ day.The day when our lives are at stakes and its like we’re in between going straight to heaven or fall down into the hell. By the way, that day is on March 16th. Yes again people, you’re right. it’s either my late birthday present or my nightmare. I might not be able to celebrate my birthday this year. If people ask me what I want for my birthday i would probably say ‘please pray to god that I’ll get a good result tomorrow’. I’ve been thinking all day about how am i gonna react that day. Somehow i felt like even though you know what’s going to happen that day you will never be able to control your reaction or emotions towards it. You can say ‘it’s okay i know its going to happen i wont cry or be sad about it’ i just somehow don’t think you can simply decide what to feel at that moment because you just simply telling your mind about it but not your heart.Well basically this part of brain called cerebrum controls it but you know what i mean. I also been thinking about this one note that I’ve stored in my old phone since last year. It was me thinking how weird is it one day like if i did or didn’t get a good result on ‘that’ day i will eventually reminisce ‘today’ (the day i wrote that note) and think of how grateful i am to be able to breathe again today,afford to go to night classes and witnessed this beautiful and serene scenery right in front of me. It was around 10pm i was on my way to home from my tuition class. I open the window and stick my head out a bit and just kind of feel the night air slapping my face and just enjoy the fleeting moment of life. It was weirdly a bit of soothing for me because for a moment i am away from my busy and hectic life which is full of homework, big examination pressure, and my prefect works. It is indeed a great feeling that i haven’t been feeling for quite some time.I was smiling like an idiot alone in the van thank god everyone is home. To be honest, i cried a bit because for once i am grateful for everything. The boarding school that i used to dream for, the best friend who’s now someone else’s and the imperfect me suddenly for me is imperfectly perfect. For once, i feel like i want to scream at the top of my lungs “Thankyou Allah S.W.T !! Alhamdulillah”
To begin about March, it didn’t start well because apparently I just forgot my friend’s birthday. Conclusion, i am a bad friend. I am such a pathetic friend because after a long time no texting suddenly out of nowhere i sent her my blog’s link and said “hey if you don’t mind can you like check my blog or something” and asked her to kind of tell everyone about it. THERE YOU GO MY UNFAITHFUL ‘BEHIND’ DOESNT EVEN WISH HER A HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUST ASK HER TO CHECK OUT MY BLOG. When i said I’m a bad friend, i really am guys. I checked the calendar and was like
“OH MY GOD WHAT IN THE SUGAR HONEY ICED TEA, HER BIRTHDAY ! I FORGOT OMG”
I quickly sent her tons of audio messages because I felt really bad towards her resulting her to suddenly called me and say
“Hey, it’s okay I was actually joking i didn’t think that you might take it seriously”
“Are you kidding me?it’s your birthday that I forgot ! son of a biscuit i don’t deserve you !”
I told her how I know what it felt like when someone didn’t remember your birthday and it felt like that day suddenly gloomy and you no longer want to blow the candles of on your cake but instead burn your house with it.Not really, because the more i get older i realized that birthday is just another day to remind us that we are getting more and more older.Also, to be grateful that we are still alive till now. I lost tracks of how many times i wrote ‘grateful’ in this post. Because friend, we should really take a step back from our chaotic and restless life and be grateful for everything even as simple as to be able to wake up again today.
Here’s to another 28 days in this month, Let’s hope that it’ll be a much and much better days ahead.
#prayforsispunyaspmresult #alsoprayforallofmyfriendsthatiactaullyforgottheirbirthday #ishouldreallymakeuseofthereminderthingyonmyphonenow